Cross-Pollination

I'm an avid reader who usually has about 5 or 6 books going at the same time. Here's what I'm reading now: "Think and Grow Rich" by Napolean Hill, "See You at the Top" by Zig Ziglar, a biography on Jackson Pollock by Naifeh and Smith, "The Heart of Commitment" by Scott Stanley. I also read to my wife each night before bed, which currently we are re-reading the Harry Potter series so we're on book 5, the Order of the Phoenix. Plus I'm occasionally dipping into Dr. Phil's "Ultimate Weight Loss Solution," and "How to Have Power and Confidence in Dealing with People" by Les Giblin. The books themselves help me stretch and grow but the process is intensified when the ideas of one book correlate with those in another. So allow me to give you an example of what I call a 'cross-pollination' of ideas I've gotten from some of these books.

I've been struck by a concept of protecting yourself and your commitment. Consider this statement by Napolean Hill in "Think and Grow Rich:" 'The conscious faculty serves, therefore, as an outerguard to the approach of the subconcious.' An 'outerguard'- protective language. It coincides precisely with Scott Stanley's observations on commitment in marriage, taken from Malachi 2:15- '... So guard yourself in your spirit...' He explains that the word 'guard' in Hebrew literally means to set a hedge of protection around something." That in turn reminded me of how Dr. Phil related it to weight loss. He talked about structuring your life to fit the commitment. We all have willpower, but we also have a willpower that isn't so powerful at times. If we rely solely upon our willpower, we will fail miserably when our willpower isn't strong enough on a particular day. However, if we structure our lives in a way that our commitment is protected, then we ensure our success even in times when we feel weak.
This kind of excites me. You see, I'm a man. And I've learned that men are lazy- to a point. You see, we will work our butts off in order to be lazy. You know? We will put far more effort into finding a way to get something done on autopilot, than the amount of energy it takes to actually do the thing we're trying to do in the first place. So this whole idea of protecting your commitment seems to me to put effort into aspects that will then kind of put you on autopilot. Then you sit back and enjoy the benefits of your successful career, marriage, weight loss program, etc., etc., so on and so forth. Cool.

Sounds like my plans need to include plans for defense, as well as offense; for protection, was well as action.

The problem, I'm discovering are those little voices that claim (1) I deserve to have such and such (or do such and such)- even if it runs counter to what I ultimately want, and (2) that I shouldn't have to live up to my plans and goals, however good and noble, because I am free to do whatever I want. The curse of freedom: coming soon to a blog near you.

Plans vs. Goals

So I was talking not too long ago with someone in my company (I'm a loan officer for a mortgage company) who is more established and thus more successful (proven by the paycheck he showed me that had just arrived, one with significantly more numbers on it than I'm used to seeing on a paycheck) and I inquired about the topic of goal setting. His reply kind of shocked me. "I don't believe in goals. They don't do anything for me. I don't make goals. I make plans." Internally I had a huge smile because he just articulated something that inherently I somehow knew to be true but could never put my finger on. Granted, he did say that you have to make your plans according to what you want to achieve. And though he did not say the word, it was obvious to me that 'what you want' is....well,... a goal. But the point is that the goal is not the end-all-be-all. Where the real rubber meets the road is in the plans you make. I've made several goals in my life, few that have been accomplished. Because I merely thought of the goal and thought that was it and the rest would take care of itself. Nope.

A goal is only useful to the extent that it is translated into a plan of action. Sometimes, though, that plan is not readily apparent or not worked out in detail right away. The trick is continually developing the goal into a plan. Sometimes, I find, it takes more effort than I thought to sustain the vision of the goal in my mind. I'm not used to holding an idea for that long. If an idea has stayed around, it is because I have been able to put it to use and reuse- like when I was teaching a class and the thought was reiterated in a couple of lectures. So for me, I'm learning that knowing what I want, what my goal is, can only be achieved by making a plan... a plan to sustain the vision of my goal until my plan to achieve that goal is in place. The plan I've adopted is simply reading the goal, and statements that paint a picture of me achieving that goal, everyday. Ideally I read it about 4 times a day, but that doesn't always happen. So simple, but I can already begin to sense the fruits of this very easy task.

The cool thing that I'm finding is that things come about when you work towards it, but not necassarily as a direct result of your efforts. I find it best stated in a quote from a book called "Seeing is Forgetting the Name of the Thing One Sees" about an artist named Robert Irwin: "Grace-you work and you work and you work at something that then happens of its own accord. It would not have happened without all that work, but the result cannot be accounted for as the product of the work in the sense that an effect is said to be the product of its causes. There is all that preparation- preparation for receptivity- and then ther is something else, beyond that, which is gratis, for free."

Plans. Plans to succeed. Plans for spending your money (a more preferable way of saying 'budget'). A plan for learning something new. A plan for salvation. A plan for actively loving your mate. Goals are but dreams. The plan is the key.